マジック!

Scott Pilgrim Rules the World XXXXXXX

2010-12-26T21:49:00.000-08:00

Or at least he should!

Guys I'm back! And I have a lot of catching up to do!

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) directed by Edgar Wright is absolutely NOT just another Michael Cera movie. I know, I know, you aren't in the mood for one of those flimsy little hipster flicks about pregnancy or MP3 playlists. Not to worry. I repeat: THIS IS NOT ANOTHER MICHAEL CERA MOVIE. Believe me, when I saw the trailer for Scott Pilgrim, I felt the same way you probably would, rolling my eyes and sighing. It sounded to me like just another high school romance flick except now with flashing letters all over the place, and an absolutely awful soundtrack.
I was even more dismayed in the theater, wherein the audience was separated into literally two kinds of people: hipsters and nerds. There was no one in between, no confused mothers with a cluster of five-year-old kids, no lonely looking old men snuggled into a corner, no. The demographic for this movie was very specific. The only variation in the room lay in whether or not the glasses people were wearing had prescription lenses.
To begin with, this movie is based on a set of comics written by Bryan Lee O'Malley, a Canadian who, despite his name, is not actually a farmer. His writing as well as his drawings express a brand of humor and a particular explication of humanity that is completely unique to his work. It is honest, painfully so at times, but also masterfully uses the art of nonsense. All of the characters are drawn simply, with somewhat adorable features, but they are somehow able to convey some of the simplest and most profound emotions in the human range. Like this one for example:

SO profound.
Anyway this quality in the characters and in the story is not lost in the film. In fact, it is captured perfectly. For once in my life, I was blessed with a director who decided to just use the pre-existing comics as storyboards for making shots, which was a brilliant decision given the often cinematic quality of O'Malley's work. Everything was simply given a riot of color and noise, and very creative animation, intended to give the look and feel of a magical world where video games and life are completely intertwined. The plot itself is simple: Scott Pilgrim is a 23 year old Canadian boy in the band The Sex Bob-ombs, who also happens to be "the best fighter in the province". He falls in love with a beautiful blue-haired girl, but in order to date her, he must fight and defeat her seven evil exes. It is through this mission that he finally discovers himself and learns about the power of love. Speaking of fighting seven evil exes, the fight scenes themselves were not only exciting, and perfectly in line with the experience of boss battles within a video game, but brought out new manifestations of humor that aren't easily found in film. It utilized nostalgia and the common thread felt among all gamers to make every battle hilarious.
The film of course also used the usual high school romance idea, but to great effect. Rather than executing it in a cheesy way, all of the romance between Scott and his out-of-this-world hot girlfriend Ramona, as well as the confusion of feelings involved from his relationship before with a Chinese high school girl named Knives Chow (See? Already hilarious) is carried out with a certain understanding of real human emotions and real human problems while still retaining comic relief. It was in no way difficult to get into, or frivolous. It made me able to connect with the characters and relate to the difficulties in which they found themselves.
The characters themselves have their individual quirks which makes them endearing long after the film has ended. For example Scott Pilgrim's gay roommate Wallace Wells is generally found pantsless in the kitchen cooking bacon. This quirkiness is what originally prompted me to read the comics and to play some of the excellent ensuing video game if only to spend more time with them. If I may quote Paul Lucero, after all of the media involving the characters has run out and there is nothing left to read about them, or watch or play, it feels as though "all of your friends are dead."
In short, this film was amazing, and could easily become its own classic despite the strange lack of turnouts at the box office. BUY THIS MOVIE. I can almost guarantee that the game and the comic book collection are sure to follow.

This movie's rating: AWESOME.

Dreamweaver, I Believe You Can Get Me Through the NIIIGHT

2010-09-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

Late in coming but here it is! My review of Inception (2010) written and directed by Christopher Nolan. If you are familiar with Nolan then you are probably aware of his interpretation of the popular DC hero Batman in Batman Begins (2005) as well as his latest enormous box office hit The Dark Knight (2008). In both films, he took the comic book movie to an impressive new level, staying true to the characters and story, but also creating an atmosphere that is truly quintessential to his work. His films always add a surprising new dimension to the existing material, something that will really make the audience think. In the case of The Dark Knight (2008) he created possibly one of the most memorable screen villains of all time in the form of the Joker played by Heath Ledger as one of his last roles (for now). The Joker was a wonderful nemesis not only because he has a terrifying mug, but he seems to have no origin, no motive to kill and destroy, and no mercy. This sort of thing makes the audience have to think about the meaning of evil and if there needs to be a reason to embrace awful and cruel behavior. In short, Nolan is the master of mind bending characters and plots.

The films that he has written delve into the confusion of the human psyche even more, in a way that challenges and delights the audience as they are obliged to unravel what is going on. Memento (2000) and Following (1998) are further examples of films that are nearly impossible to make sense of for much of the duration, until the end of the film when all is made clear and every detail fits together in a beautiful puzzle. It makes for an incredibly enjoyable experience every time.

And yet, it seems that Inception might be able to blow all of his previous achievements out of the water. Inception is a gorgeous film that seems to be cut from new cloth so to speak. Upon watching the trailer, it is difficult to know what it might be about, and yet it is intriguing enough to invoke a deadly curiosity in what it might entail. In this review it is impossible for me to feel good about relaying the basic plot, because it best to enter the movie having no idea what is going on. Once watching it, it is difficult to disentangle what may be happening, but just as with all of Nolan's films you will understand what it all means as it progresses. Only this time, the plot becomes clear by about a third of the way through, and so for the rest of the time, the story has free rein to explore the concepts it has put in place. The characters have time to evolve and show such great potential for expansion that it makes one wish there could be a sequel of some kind.

Leonardo DiCaprio has gone so far beyond the cheesy teenage-esque romantic character that it makes me feel as though that stage of his career never was. He has become a true talent in the world of acting, capable of being an excellent tragic hero, and of becoming a convincing figure on screen. All of the characters were incredibly well-cast including Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Tom Hardy, and yet DiCaprio displays such a huge margin of growth that it's almost hard to imagine how he was. Yeah, that happened...

Aside from everything else this movie has to offer, one of the prime elements is the sound editing. The Dark Knight already displayed such prowess at making explosions sound completely real, and breaking glass, crashing cars, fists colliding sound completely stunning. It is much the same in Inception. The sound of a man's head colliding with the windshield of an oncoming car sounded so believable that I physically flinched. Also visually, the effect produced by bending the reality of the world, and the motion especially of water is downright beautiful. The story is amazing, the execution of it is amazing, and together it creates a true piece of art. In a time where there is nothing but remake after remake, and one book adaptation after another, it was refreshing to see something wholly original, and visually outstanding. This one gets 5/5 Staryus.

Bend It Like Beckham!

2010-07-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

Here is one of those times when I find myself a little bit torn. Usually, when a movie is made of a book or of an animated television series (which is about every single movie these days) I have to try and keep the movie and the book separate in my mind in order to enjoy both. It seems to be the only way to do any justice to both forms. However, I find it much more difficult when the media the movie is based off of is such, that if the filmmakers do not do justice to the story, it completely ruins whatever chance the movie had of being great. It is my feeling that if a series or a book was popular at one point, it is essential in the movie version to capture those things that made it so well loved by its fans, but not so out there that people who are not familiar with the material couldn't enjoy the movie.

The Harry Potter series is a perfect example of this kind of thing. The books were so well-loved by the people who read them that it seems as though it would be incredibly important to keep the story as intact as possible, and to make as accurate a depiction of the characters and the environments as possible, not only to please long-time fans, but to please people who are unfamiliar as well (which in the case of Harry Potter would most definitely be in the minority). However that is not what occurred. Instead the film versions of Harry Potter went in a completely different direction leaving the majority of the book fans sort of deserted and disappointed.

Avatar: The Last Airbender (directed by M. Night Shyamalan) suffers from a similar case. The animated series has been celebrated for a long time as one of the few series that was created in America, but still captures some of the same quality action and storytelling as Japanese anime. Rather than being somewhat cheesy and poorly drawn as is the case with a vast number of American animated series that are trying to imitate anime, The Last Airbender series became sort of an animal of its own. Of course it was aimed for Nickelodeon audiences, but the show was so great that it caught the attention of a wide range of age groups. It is a story of a world where there are tribes of people who are able to "bend the elements" and use a certain element in their day to day life and in their fighting style. The Fire Nation decided to wage war on the other tribes, and have almost succeeded in taking over the whole world. The Avatar, the one man who is able to bend all four elements and commune with the Spirit World in order to maintain balance in the living world, has disappeared, but then is reborn in the form of a young boy named Aang. Now the Fire Nation will stop at nothing to find the Avatar and destroy him before he comes into his full abilities and overthrows them. The characters were well-developed and likable, there was a lot of lighthearted humor involved along with more dramatic moments that dealt with deep emotional states. And this combined with absolutely fantastic martial arts made it one of the most popular shows in Nickelodeon's arsenal. Admittedly, I have only gotten through one out of the three seasons of the show, but what little I've seen I have thoroughly enjoyed, and gave me a pretty good idea of how the show works and how the story develops.

Sadly, the movie fell far short of all of my expectations, both for the characters and the story. The show characters are lively and strong, and have to deal with their fears and their weaknesses as the story unfolds. The movie characters were utterly and completely flat, and seemed to have no weaknesses at all. All we ever see of them are their strengths and their absolutely deplorable acting. I know there are a lot of young actors in this film, but I felt like the casting could almost definitely have been much better, and the acting could absolutely have been better.

Aang, played by Noah Ringer, was almost painful to watch in his clumsy attempts at lending seriousness to any situation. I wasn't even able to feel anything for him when the film reached what I thought should be Aang's emotional peak, that being, when he discovers that everyone he has ever known, his entire tribe and his entire home have been dead and destroyed for over one hundred years. There is perhaps some screaming of the word, "NOOOOOOOO!" but it issued from a face that was flabby and blank, and that I cared nothing about.

But of course most of the actors suffered from the same thing, even the adults. It could be because the story was written to be so unbearably serious. Where there is lightheartedness and laughter and hilarious hijinks in the show, there is just drama and dark expressions throughout the entire film. Gee, I know their situation is pretty dire but really. Is it necessary to have dire faces and heavy breathing every time there is any kind of dialogue? It must also be mentioned that I couldn't help but notice that the people of the Fire Nation all appeared to be of Indian background, and that the people of the other nations were all Caucasian. The kind of message that is trying to be said here has the potential of being very offensive indeed. All of the bad guys are Indian? What gives?

But of course all was not lost on this film. The martial arts in it was incredibly accurate and beautiful and the special effects were absolutely stunning, especially when it came to water bending. Truly the elements being looped around and thrown and hovering in the air was gorgeous. It was perhaps the most redeeming point of the film for me. I didn't see the film in 3D because I felt that it really wouldn't lend much to it, so I can't really comment on the pros and cons of that, however I was very pleased with it in a normal format.

Basically this film was a mess, a big pretty mess. To filmmakers everywhere: I now know that you have absolutely no problem making something look great, now you need to focus on making a film that is great in its core. The Last Airbender further underscored my conviction that people can make great films, they just won't. I give Airbender two Staryus.

Wanna See Something Really F***ed Up?

2010-07-09T23:57:00.001-07:00

Then be sure to go see Predators (2010) directed by Antal Nimród. It's pretty f***ed up.

I don't think I can properly begin this review without first posting one of my favorite youtube videos of all time, created by the Grand Internet Wizard Neil Cicierega. Only this video can properly explain the true power of Adrien Brody, who plays Royce, our badass protagonist of the film.

This video was intended to describe the best day of Adrien Brody's life. Turns out it's only the second best day, because the best day is when he wakes up falling from the sky with a parachute attached to his back not knowing how he got there, and landing in a strange jungle with mysterious terrors that he must face in order to survive. These terrors not only include deadly and well-armed killer Predators, who are the bad eggs of their species, and willing to kill members of their own race for the thrill of the hunt. They also include other terrifying creature adversaries and the flaws and fears of each of the members of his group that joins him in fighting to survive.

Like its first two predecessors, this movie suffers a little from being unable to take itself fully seriously. There is witty banter among the characters right and left, and sort of a strangely lighthearted approach to the bitter situation that the characters find themselves in. They are being hunted, and their chance of survival is incredibly slim, yet they can find time to throw in a lot of jokes. Personally, I found the dialogue and small quips hilarious, and I thought it added a lot of enjoyment to the film in addition to carrying on the tradition of Predator movies. The development of the characters was something I liked, because then at least I was able to care about them and feel for them in their predicament. However this could be a turn-off for some people who were hoping for more of a frightening and serious movie.

The film itself looked spectacular, it was everything a person could hope for in a Predator movie. There was a enough catering to long-time Predator fans to allow them to enjoy the film, but not so much that it would completely throw off someone who had less experience with the series. The fact that they decided to use the original score in parts of the film was a wonderful idea that worked well.

It was cheesy, violent, gorey, and just looked extremely convincing. The Predators themselves looked fantastic, nothing about them suggested a guy in a suit, and they sounded truly terrifying from loud battle roars to that sound everyone dreads; a clicking from a set of invisible mandibles in the trees. The letdowns manifested themselves in the lack of Predator technology and the low frequency of Predator screentime. Most of the movie is taken up by the human characters, and only about half of it involves Predators. It didn't stop me from enjoying the movie, but it was certainly a setback.

This film is perfect for when you feel like seeing something that you don't necessarily want to have to take seriously, but that is still packed with action and violence and a good ole Predator face. If nothing else, I would highly recommend it to fans of the series. This one gets 3 out of 5 Staryus.

Sandiest Movie Ever!

2010-06-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

Video game based movies are something that I have rarely seen, and I find that it is always difficult to capture the same feeling that one has when playing a game of the same title when it is made into film. For example Super Mario Bros., which appeared on the scene in 1993, was intended to be a movie that brought beloved game elements and characters to life, but is better remembered as either a flop or (as in my case) one of the most excellent parodies in existence. While this was unintentional, it tends to happen, simply because the experience is so incredibly different. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (2010) directed by Mike Newell manages to capture some of the experience of playing the games, but also has its limitations.
For example, even though the Prince "Dastan" (played by Jake Gyllenhaal) does some amazing feats of flipping through the air, and dexterously fighting with two blades, setting clever traps for his enemies, and climbing rapidly along walls and across the roofs of buildings, he still doesn't spend as much time in the air as the Prince from the game does...not even close. At least in the newest game, the Prince barely spends any time on the ground at all, using a metal claw to scrape his way along walls and cling onto poles. While the amazing feats of the Prince were impressive in the film beyond a doubt, it felt like something was missing. Because this movie was naturally bound with the laws of physics, it couldn't completely capture that magical element of the Prince of Persia game series.
As far as the characters were concerned, they were all portrayed very well. Jake was a dashing and mischievous prince, and Ben Kingsley did a fantastic job being the main villain of the story. I had no idea Kingsley could wear eye liner so well. Alfred Molina served the part of comedy relief and provided plenty of ostrich jokes, which while amusing, were also almost nauseatingly frequent. But it's a Disney film, those kinds of antics are sort of to be expected by now. The only character I had issue with, and really out of no fault of her own, was Tamina played by Gemma Arterton. Her voice was high pitched and vastly annoying, and I could barely listen to her speak. I found myself wishing many times throughout the film that she would just....get left behind or get lost or something, just to spare myself from her witty and high-pitched banter.
The environments were rich and varied, and everything had such a wonderful golden old-world feeling. It seemed like every environment was just covered with riches and cloth, and it was quite the appealing backdrop for a desert adventure story. There was enough sand in it to easily rival The Mummy which was the film that I always believed would be the sandiest movie I have ever seen. Turns out that Prince of Persia is also the Prince of Sandy.
Overall, I liked this film. It was fun and packed with adventure and action, and I always enjoy that kind of thing. I wasn't overly impressed, but I certainly enjoyed myself!
I give this one 3 out of 5 Staryus.

Iron Face and the Machine of War

2010-05-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

All right, it is now time for the long awaited review of Iron Man 2 (2010) directed by Jon Favreau and starring Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. I went to the midnight showing decked out in all manner of ridiculous Iron Man paraphernalia and waited downtown with my friends to ensure good seats for roughly 8.5 hours. I feel this is important to note because anticipation is certainly a pivotal part of this movie. The first movie was great, the comics have always been great, and finally here is the sequel. Something for which I have spent months drooling all over the trailer for. I was all snuggled in my seat covered in candy wrappers and action figures when the movie began. And needless to say, I was suffused with a sugar/ adrenaline induced energy that made my excitement for what I was seeing multiply tenfold.

However even had I not been filled with high fructose corn syrup and pure joy, I think I would still have easily been able to say that this film delivers. We get to see Tony at both his best and at his worst, some of the most gorgeously orchestrated CGI battles of all time, development of a story and its characters that is both vivid and meaningful, and the introduction of wonderful villains and characters.

There was, and still is, very little that I know about the character of Whiplash. But I do know this much: in the comics he is supremely lame. Here's why. That's right he has a GREEN TOPKNOT. Who in God's name is going to find that threatening? I don't care how dangerous his energy whips are. His hair has the intimidating abilities of a pile of seaweed. Luckily Mickey Rourke, who is playing the character of Ivan Vonko (Whiplash) in the new film put a stop to all of that. He has black and white greasy hair, threatening tattoos, and a voice that could make a kid cry if it emanated from under the bed at night. See what I mean? He's very smart, he's fueled by revenge, and he's a legitimately scary psychopath. All things I like to see in a villain.

Then of course there is the arrival of War Machine on the scene. The original actor (Terrence Howard) for the character of Lt. Col. James Rhodes decided not to continue his role in the second film, and so was replaced by Don Cheadle. I think that because of this break in continuity, it could create some confusion among movie fans, because these two men are the same person with the same personality, and the same connection to Stark. But they do look vastly different from each other. All I can say is, Terrence you missed out on becoming one of the more iconic characters ever. Rhodey gets a suit, and he gets a suit with GUNS. This resulted in a fantastic CGI battle between Rhodes and Stark, and later the two of them team up against some drones.

Basically it was some of the most rewarding superhero battling I've ever seen. There was noise, there was destruction, there were more explosions than a girl could ever hope for. This is actually the only part of the film where I could claim to have a complaint, and that was, in an effort to make the violence, the movement, the speed all seem realistic and credible, it was very difficult to see what was going on. The bright flashes and blurs of movement left me disoriented and wishing I could see more. I comfort myself on the idea that one day this film will be on Blu-ray, therefore I will be able to slow it down and pause it if I wish.

All of the other characters exceeded my initial expectations, especially Black Widow played by Scarlett Johanssen. Sure, she was mainly intended to be a sexy distraction that pops in every now and again, but she does have some excellent fight scenes which (hilariously), include the use of pepper spray. Pepper Potts still continues to be Tony's love interest in the story, much to my confusion and slight irritation. In the comics, she marries Happy Hogan, and I wish that was happening here too. But then, no one has asked me...or any hardcore comic book fans. She still does well in the role however, I thought her performance was very true to form with her previous portrayal.

Then there is Happy Hogan, which may or may no cause some controversy because it looks to all appearances as though John Favreau is simply trying to give himself some more face time. However I don't feel like that is the case. I think it was purely an attempt to allow Happy to be developed as a character, and that is was done incredibly well. Happy gets in a couple more wisecracks, and shows off a bit more of his possible badass tendencies.

Nick Fury, head of S.H.I.E.L.D. , and played by Samuel L. Jackson was of course wonderfully portrayed, but I feel a little bit that it is because Samuel L. Jackson is very accomplished at playing himself. As I watched, I wasn't getting past the fact that what I was looking at was Samuel L. Jackson with an awesome eye-patch, and how very awesome that all was. I wasn't focused on the character, I was focused on the actor who played him, which is something of a rare phenomenon with me.

Finally Robert Downey Jr. was once again a stunning Tony Stark. He was cocky, he was drunk, he was an asshole, and he learned from his mistakes. All of his emotions and all of his thoughts were made clear to me even when they weren't spelled out, because Robert Downey is so good at using his face and his voice to portray Tony. He knows when to be fun and when to suffer, and is masterful at both. In the suit, he is heroic and amazing, out of it, he is just incredibly lovable and loathable (speaking with endearment of course).

In closing, this movie was wonderful. I had fun, it was exciting, I can't wait to see it on the IMAX at some point. It creates enjoyment for both fans of the comics and fans of the film, and it utilizes its medium in ways that could make it a classic among superhero film adaptations. This one also gets 5/5 Staryus.

Vikings Are Friends, Not Food

2010-04-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well here we are at my very first movie review post! There are millions of other movies I would like to review, but considering How To Train Your Dragon was the most recent film I've seen, and is also perfectly delightful, it seems like a good place to begin.

How To Train Your Dragon, directed by Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders follows the story of a young Viking boy named Hiccup, whose entire village is wrapped up in the task of defending themselves against swarms of dragons that habitually attack them for livestock. As his name may suggest, he's the outcast of his people because he is somewhat small and clever, rather than being buff and bloodthirsty the way he should be. Because he's the picked-on outcast, you can already guess the awesome things that must be in store for him. Namely, he manages to incapacitate a rare and dangerous dragon, and ends up befriending him rather than killing him. In the process he learns more about the ways of dragons, and comes to discover that the Vikings and the dragons could have a better and more beneficial relationship.

This movie had a lot going for it from the very beginning, but one of its many strong points is its characters. The Viking characters all have parallels with modern day stereotypes: You have the nerdy overweight kid, the show-off jock, the beautiful and talented love interest, and the competitive twins. The leader of the Viking village is of course an enormous bristly muscular Viking, brilliantly played by Gerard Butler. His performance definitely invoked visions of him screaming his famous line, "THIS IS SPARTA!!" from 300.

Then of course there is Toothless, the Night Fury dragon that Hiccup befriends. His design is incredibly interesting, because he managed to remind me of a cat in his behavior (if a cat was really super dangerous and reptilian) and a axolotl in appearance. But Katie! What is an axolotl? Are you making that up? Nope. It's quite real I assure you. Toothless manages to be both very dangerous and just incredibly adorable, so that I was always convinced that he was a powerful creature, but at the the same time able to fall head over heels in love with him.

Being a fan of all things monstrous, and dragons especially, this movie was eye candy for me. I am willing to say in full confidence that this movie was actually worth it to see in 3D. The only other film I would say used 3D just as well would be Coraline directed by Henry Selick. I don't generally advocate seeing movies in 3D because I don't usually care for it. It adds nothing to live action films and is more expensive. Not to mention it makes me feel rather nauseous after a prolonged viewing. The colors are somewhat dimmed as well due to the fact that you are wearing dark glasses. But despite all of this, I feel that How To Train Your Dragon used it extremely well. I could see every hair on the Vikings' arms, and every detail in vivid clarity, and it made the flight scenes with Toothless extremely exciting and exhilarating. It started to fall short a little bit towards the end because there was so much action going on that it was becoming difficult to discern what was happening. But otherwise, I don't regret paying extra for it.

I would definitely see this movie again if I had the chance, it was fun and hilarious, the danger felt very real, and the sadness felt very real. And for goodness sake that dragon makes me melt like a little marshmallow inside. I give it 5/5 Staryus.

22!

2010-02-25T23:53:00.000-08:00

I'm dat many years old now! I seem to be more excited about it than when I was 21. Now, people will probably be less likely to pressure me to drink. They'll just expect that I already do, and not make an event out of it!
I really do feel like I am 11 again, just a little bit older. I am feeling the same excitement I felt when I was no longer able to count my age on my fingers. I am hoping that this year will be much better than how it started off, that I can take the reins, and make my life the way I've always hoped. Here's to being old and feeling young!

A A R D M A N * A N I M A T I O N

2009-12-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

Today I finally found something for which I've been searching for who knows how many years. Aardman Animation is the same company that is famous for having created the Wallace and Gromit series, as well as Chicken Run, and many notable claymation shorts. I've always respected the company because of their vision, their ability to tell an engaging story, and the interesting technical and artistic aspects of their productions. I've always been a huge fan of traditional animation, and if there was a way for me to study it somewhere I would no matter what I'd have to do. But there is so little information out there about how to get into the stop-motion animation business.
It's the same way with voice acting. I've always been interested in trying it, but never was able to discover how one goes about it.
But I digress. I found a short animation by Aardman Animation that I remember seeing and loving as a small child in 1996. It came along with a collection of other shorts that I also liked. Part of the reason that I couldn't find this little short was because I could not for the life of me remember the title. It was just something hidden in the back of my mind that my brain was yearning to re-discover. And it did. The short is called Wat's Pig I apologize for the poor quality. :c

Go on and check it out!

Also there is Not Without My Handbag. Made by the same company surprisingly, and also the closest thing to Tim Burton's style that I've seen aside from his own work. It scared the beans out of me as a little person. o_o;;

Happy Gobble Gobble Nom Nom Nom Day!

2009-11-27T21:35:00.000-08:00

I know...it's been a very long time since I have touched this blog. Almost a year to be exact. No one was following it however, so I am not too grievous.

Happy Gobblegobble nom nom nom Day! LATE!

Thanksgiving convinced me of many things this year. These are the things out of many others for which I am thankful.

I am thankful that I managed to avoid getting sloshed or high unlike most everyone else during the Thanksgiving feast. I drank too much soda, but that was generally all. For the main part, I managed to see life through eyes unclouded, which is how I always want to perceive the things around me even if I am not always so good at it.

I am thankful for the friends I have who have done nothing but inspire me and support me and make me laugh, and forgive me even when I do things wrong. It's good to be surrounded by people who enjoy being a part of your life.

I am thankful for the people who criticize me and hurt my feelings. Sometimes, it's very good to get a good kick in the pants, or otherwise have a reason to stand up for yourself even if it's in your own head. There is no better way to reinforce your own worth and soldier on with the knowledge that you are not worthless.

I am thankful for the time given to me. I could be a lot more busy and stressed than I am, but by some kind-hearted force of Nature, I've been given a chance to work hard and do my best.

This year I am thankful for the following inventions: the paper shredder, the whisk, the external hard drive, the motion-sensor lightbulb, the tampon, and the fax machine.

I am thankful to my friend Lao for working tirelessly trying to save my computer which is in a sad state of affairs at the moment. I have to do everything from a seperate desktop computer, and therefore don't have access to many of my programs and files. Fun how this tends to occur during finals every time.

I wonder what everyone else is thankful for...I hope you all ate way way too much.

C R U S H E D

2009-04-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

My driver's test was scheduled for today. Friday, April 3rd, 2009. I drove up to the DMV this afternoon at around 1:00 PM feeling excited and nervous for a moment that I have waited eight long years to come to fruition. It made me feel like some saucy villain that was finally able to watch the evil master plan fall into place. Finally, I was going to gain independence and perhaps be eternally free from the bus system. At last, the hated thought of being stuck far from home late at night and having to be shuttled around by somebody's parents in the wee hours of the morning were going to end. Finally, my ever-growing collection of renewed driver's permits could be tucked away and forgotten forever, and my chances of employment were going to increase tenfold.

But no. No it's just not possible even after five different driving test appointments and eight years of waiting to just drive around and obtain a little card.

By the time I got to the DMV, my father checked the glove compartment and found no registration. Well isn't that just excellent. Not only was I unable to take my test, but I was driving both ways ILLEGALLY anyways.

My stepmom had taken the registration out of the car in order to do tax returns. It's not her fault. Really it's mine because I should've checked, no matter how much one thinks one can assume that the registration never leaves the car under any circumstances.

Still...I am angry. Which is rare because I have about one of the longest fuses known to man. But REALLY. EIGHT YEARS. My test has been rescheduled for next week. Until then...I will be a grumpy person.

J A F A R J O V I A N

2009-03-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

S P R I N G B R E A K

2009-03-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

And I am finally free! Let the rejoicing begin!
So far I haven't done much. I've fixed my computer and eaten too much ice cream.

Z Z Z Z Z . . .

2009-03-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of midterms...and things going wrong with midterms. Therefore Pikachu and I have decided to fluke the whole thing for an hour or two and have a PikaSnooze.

N I C K C A G E

2009-03-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

Watchmen was completely fantastic. Once I'd read the book, I honestly didn't have high hopes for the film. How could something so amazing possibly be adapted to film? But after seeing it, I was not disappointed. Mind, there were a couple of areas where I was a bit unsettled, confused, sad, hungry. But aside from those moments I was thrilled. It makes a great movie even aside from the graphic novel, which is difficult to accomplish. Good job guys.

Now to more important matters.
Nicholas Cage of course.

I made this for the cracked.com Nicholas Cage meme. You should check it out.

W A T C H M E N

2009-03-05T23:18:00.000-08:00

I finally finished the graphic novel tonight, just a day before the film comes out in theaters. I have to say that the book filled me with longing and brilliance and deep sadness. It's honestly the best graphic novel I have ever read, and I am beginning to wonder how it is even possible to adapt such a fantastic piece of art to film in the first place. There are rumors that the ending of the movie deviates heavily from the ending of the novel, so we shall just have to see about that. Whatever happens, Alan Moore has adopted a special little place in my heart. What a brilliant human being.

Here's to Rorschach. The only stinky asshole who refused to hide the truth from the public of New York.

In other news, I seem to be suffering from mounting levels of self-loathing. But I got a fortune in a fortune cookie that said, "Be assertive, you have worthy ideas to share." Or uhm...something to that effect. It was very inspiring, and made me sniffle a little bit into my Panda Express orange chicken. Which, if you have not done that is both a painful and thrilling experience. They must use some sort of spice that aims directly for your sinuses, and then flies way up into your brain.

BREAD DOM

2009-02-24T13:14:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA.

Is Dominic Howard as bread. Hooooo haaaaa.

I've Got a Jar of Diiirt!

2009-02-11T21:55:00.000-08:00

Well...I have! Give it a shake and see for yourself.

Well let's see, this seems to be my first post, which is always incredibly awkward for me from the start. What on earth is there to write about? The whole world is full of so many things to write about, and yet there simply isn't enough. When it comes to writing about your own life one starts thinking, "But I already KNOW all of that, and I would very much like to write something new and fresh!" But of course that is not at all what a blog is about.

And then there is the whole problem of dumping all of your thoughts onto a site in the first place. You spend all this time decorating it and marveling at its genius, and then you realize that you have no idea what to write about, and anything you do write will be a mess. Its a similar problem to having beautiful blank journals. They are so pretty that the idea of messing up the paper with your words seems just wretched.

Hopefully I will get over that though. In fact I am certain I will, for I have just completed my first post!